I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
