dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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