We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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