Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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