We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
