So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
