In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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