im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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