We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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