This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
