I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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