So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
