I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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