she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize