Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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