Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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