He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
