But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
