I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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