i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
