what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
