Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
