I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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