ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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