So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
