are you so shy because you have an std?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
