What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
