Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
