Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
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