there's paper in my vomit.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
