There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
