smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
