actually, I'm a sock model
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
