I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
