Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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