That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Girls should come with a carfax report
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
