So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
