i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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