12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
