Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Randomize
