i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
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