it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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