speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
