Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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