Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
