I got her a Nickelback box set.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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