How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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