his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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