Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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