Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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