I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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