when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
