if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
