shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
ok first of all what the fuck
He has the fingertips of a God
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
