We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
