I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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