YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
