Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize