Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize