I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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