i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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