your parents love me but you hate me
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize