I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
