The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize