help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
