what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
