U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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